i cannot express how relieved i am that this day has actually arrived.

after months of torture waiting, its finally here!

it seems like a century has past ever since i packed up everything in my room and left it so bare and empty that it certainly didnt look anything like my room.

it feels so long since i had my own room and i think i have already forgotten that feeling.

thinking back to Amber Lodge, really brings back memories..

it was where i practically grew up since i was a toddler to be who i am today.

it was where i grew up to have my first crush on him, to the living room where i confessed to him online, to my room's window where i contemplated death, to the table where i foolishly slit my wrist in my room and bled so much, the list just goes on. 

of course, it was also where i shared so many happy times with friends and having quiet time with God and myself. 

it was also the place where the saddest parts of my life took place.

so old life aside, yet i have mixed feelings on embracing the new life after today.

i wonder how everything will be like from now on after i move into the new house?

oh wow, it almost seems like i am leaving the country or sth.

speaking of leaving the country,

well, he is leaving for a far away place soon, yet i am stuck here in Sg.

perhaps studying in Japan with rachel will be a good idea.

then i wont have time to miss him for the many years that i dont get to see him.

and perhaps, it wont hurt as much

anyway, digressing to a happier note, 

i cant wait to start decorating my new room!

i have so many ideas swimming around since last year and i cant wait to put it all together and see what i get

i guess i will miss all the sounds here at granny's house, staying with all my cousins

i will miss having to share a house with 9 other people, annoying my cousins, enjoying facts about fishes shared by my cousin and having my other cousin help me with any schoolwork questions.

but guess time's up and its back to coming back from school to only the white walls and my maid and the pool view.

its been a good and bad 6 months.

and i thank God for every single moment.